Friendship Blossoms Through Age Concern Kāpiti
“A meeting through Age Concern Kāpiti’s Visiting Service has blossomed into a remarkable friendship between Jacquie and Dulcie, which has also rekindled social connection.
For more about Jacquie and Dulcie click here
Rex and Tom: A Friendship Through Age Concern Kapiti
The friendship between Rex Bartholomew and Tom Montague is a testament to the power of community support services. Tom, a volunteer with Age Concern, has been visiting Rex regularly since their introduction. While Rex is unsure exactly how he came to be referred to the service, he suspects that his family and neighbours...
For more about Rex and Tom click here
Gail - Visitor
Although Mary has several support people who visit, these people come to her house to “do things” like housework, paying bills, or lawn mowing. Gail is the one person who comes to specifically sit with Mary to enjoy a long conversation. She says: “There is more happening than I realise to help me. Even if people don’t realise it, it is very necessary… you may not think you need it but in actual fact you do.”
For more about Gail and Mary click here
June – Visitor
June came into our office in April 2009. She had seen our advertisement for volunteer visitors in the local paper. We’re so lucky she did because she has now been a wonderful Age Concern Kapiti visitor for 13 years (with a couple of short breaks along the way). In that time, June has become a great and trusted friend to many older people.
For more about June and her work as an Age Concern Visitor click here
Friendship Blossoms Through Age Concern Kāpiti
Chris Stephens
A meeting through Age Concern Kāpiti’s Visiting Service has blossomed into a remarkable friendship between Jacquie and Dulcie, which has also rekindled social connection.
Dulcie, a former hairdresser and yoga practitioner and teacher, led an active life well into her 80s. Her days were filled with tending to her beautiful garden, attending church, and spending time with her large family, which includes children, 21 grandchildren, and an impressive 36 great-grandchildren, while her sister lives nearby. Despite her close-knit family ties, Dulcie found herself needing a different kind of companionship—a friendship that could bring shared experiences and lively conversations.
“I thought I’d make friends in the Village after I retired,” Dulcie explains, “but I found it hard. I felt uncomfortable joining activities like meals in the dining room.” This sense of isolation, coupled with the physical limitations caused by severe back pain, led her to Age Concern’s Visiting Service, where she was paired with Jacquie.
Jacquie, an immigrant to New Zealand, also sought connection. Despite having close friends and immediate family nearby, she missed the intergenerational ties she had experienced growing up under the care of her grandmother. Inspired to fill this gap, Jacquie stumbled upon Age Concern Kāpiti while trying to donate equipment to another charity. She signed up as a volunteer and soon found herself introduced to Dulcie.
The pair clicked instantly. “Dulcie has so many fascinating stories and such a great sense of humour,” Jacquie shares. “I often leave our visits still laughing or reflecting on something interesting she’s said.” Dulcie, for her part, found Jacquie’s companionship a welcome boost to her social life. Together, they began attending village events like Happy Hour, which Dulcie admits she would have avoided on her own. As both Dulcie and Jacquie explained, it is easier to join in large groups when one goes with a friend. Bringing a friend enables you to brave any first feelings of trepidation.
Their bond has grown beyond the formal visiting arrangement. Sharing a love of humour, honesty, and plain speaking, they navigate their differences in belief with refreshing candour while discovering common ground in their lively conversations.
The friendship has also had a ripple effect on Dulcie’s life in the village. As the friendship developed, Dulcie and Jacquie began to go on excursions and social occasions together including the Village Happy Hour where Dulcie is becoming known. With new confidence and experience Dulcie has been able to extend friendship to newcomers in the Village – her gifts of flowers from her beautiful garden are well received – and she is finding her new neighbours warm and friendly.
Meanwhile, Jacquie appreciates the depth the friendship brings to her own life. “So refreshing” she says as she describes their “plain speaking” discussions about many personal beliefs.
Dulcie and Jacquie are already making plans for the year ahead, proving that it’s never too late to forge meaningful relationships. Their story is a testament to the power of companionship and the vital role organizations like Age Concern play in building connections across generations.
Rex and Tom: A Friendship Through Age Concern Kapiti
Chris Stephens
The friendship between Rex Bartholomew and Tom Montague is a testament to the power of community support services. Tom, a volunteer with Age Concern, has been visiting Rex regularly since their introduction. While Rex is unsure exactly how he came to be referred to the service, he suspects that his family and neighbours, concerned about his well-being following a serious medical event and subsequent hospitalisation, reached out for help. This led to Rex receiving support from Age Concern. Despite having a strong local network of family and friends, as well as a very vocal cat who looks out for him (from self-interest says Rex), he welcomed the additional support.
Through Age Concern, Tom was introduced to Rex, and from their first meeting, the two men hit it off. “Tom is very good value,” Rex says with a smile. Their shared background of having attended the same university at the same time (although they did not know it at the time) only added to the bond. Since that initial introduction, the pair have met regularly, either at Rex’s home or, in warmer months, for walks along the beach. Rex calls it a “loose relationship”, in which they arrange, generally weekly, get togethers at a time that suits them both each time.
Rex, an avid tramper, climber, wildlife photographer, and botanist, has had to scale back many of his physical activities due to health issues. However, his passion for conservation and the natural world remains strong. He continues to volunteer at Ngā Manu Nature Reserve and regularly takes walks in scenic spots like the Hemi Matenga Scenic Reserve and Whareora Farm. Rex also conducts specialised research into native plants, such as the tree fuchsia (kotuku) and mistletoe (pirita), and continues his conservation work by visiting DOC land near Palliser Bay to collect seeds and fruit for conservation projects.
Rex’s knowledge of conservation and science of all kinds is fascinating to Tom who says that “Rex is a teacher and Rex teaches me. He explains things to me in a way that I can understand. Things like how radios work, how telephones work. Anything scientific, Rex knows it. I was given a sextant by a relative, which I wouldn’t know how to use. So, I brought it down here and Rex showed me how sextants work…there is very little that Rex doesn’t know”. Rex says that they both have shared interests, but also “divergent perspectives” which he enjoys sharing in discussions on things like politics. Rex enjoys Tom’s legal perspectives and his interest in golf, which Rex admits he, in fact, knows very little about. All in all, they both enjoy the chance to have a chat about all the interesting topics that come to mind when they meet.
The friendship between Rex and Tom highlights how meaningful connections can flourish through Age Concern’s Visiting Service. These relationships, built on shared knowledge, respect, and mutual enjoyment, benefit both participants and enrich their lives in unexpected ways.
Gail – Visitor for Age Concern Kapiti
Mary Walsh lives in Waikanae. At over 90 years old, Mary has been facing the challenges of progressive vision loss for the past two years. The impact of blindness has made her daily activities more difficult, and she has had to relinquish beloved hobbies. But what’s also disheartening is the unintended isolation she feels. People around her, who “don’t know what to say” have become distant, and social gatherings have become a struggle as she misses the visual cues that enable smooth conversations.
Amidst these challenges, Gail Mann, who is also legally blind, entered Mary’s life. Gail is an Age Concern volunteer visitor. Mary’s daughter contacted Age Concern Kāpiti and Alison the Visiting Service Coordinator thought Gail would be an excellent match for Mary. Despite her own disability, Gail has been enthusiastically volunteering for Age Concern for several years and, she has been visiting Mary in her lovely home and garden each week for the past two years. From the beginning, Mary realised that Gail is the person in her life who truly understands what it means to be blind.
Gail loves visiting Mary and says that she gets as much out of it as she gives. Gail and Mary agree that different people need different things from their visitors; some need to be taken out or helped, and others enjoy forming a friendship. Mary enjoys her life; she says that learning to cope with her blindness and remain active fills up her days. She has also joined a support group for the visually impaired since meeting Gail. Although she has several support people who visit, these people come to her house to “do things” like housework, paying bills, or lawn mowing. Gail is the one person who comes to specifically sit with Mary to enjoy a long conversation.
Mary says that although she doesn’t feel lonely, being visited is essential. She says: “There is more happening than I realise to help me. Even if people don’t realise it, it is very necessary… you may not think you need it but in actual fact you do.”
June Te Maro – Visitor for Age Concern Kāpiti
June came into our office over 20 years ago. She had seen our advertisement for volunteer visitors in the local paper. We’re so lucky she did because she has now been a wonderful volunteer visitor since then. In that time, June has become a trusted friend to the older people she has visited.
When June saw our advert, she was prompted to find out more about becoming a volunteer visitor.
As she explains “I was walking through Coastlands Mall and saw an elderly lady looking lonely. I stopped and spoke to her and she told me she often felt lonely and needed a friend. So, I became her friend and we met regularly until she passed away”. June was originally from Waikato and her interests and pastimes include cooking and feeding people, caring for pre-schoolers, teaching and learning from them. “I grew up being amongst the elderly”, says June, “my kuia/ koroua (Nanny’s and Granddad’s) and I always loved being in their surrounds to listen and learn from them and do for them, giving and receiving the aroha (love)”.
A wonderful lady who is probably at this moment making pikelets to take to an older person she visits!
If you or someone you know could benefit from a meaningful visitor or if you’d like to volunteer and bring joy to an older person’s life, don’t hesitate to get involved. Reach out to Age Concern Kāpiti at (04) 298 8879 or email admin@ageconcernkapiti.co.nz and become a part of this heartwarming initiative.